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What is “Honor”?
Matthew 15:1-9 (TPT) says “Then the Pharisees and religious scholars came from Jerusalem and approached Jesus with this question: 2 “Why do your disciples ignore the traditions of our elders? For example, they don’t ceremonially wash their hands before they eat bread.” 3 Jesus answered, “And why do you ignore the commandment of God because of your traditions? 4 For didn’t God say, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘Whoever abuses or insults his father or mother must be put to death?’ 5 “But you teach that it’s permissible to say to your parents when they are in financial need, ‘Whatever gift you would have received from me I can keep for myself, since I dedicated it as an offering to God.’ 6 This doesn’t honor your father or mother. And you have elevated your tradition above the words of God. 7 Frauds and hypocrites! Isaiah described you perfectly when he said: 8 These people honor me only with their words, for their hearts are so very distant from me. 9 They pretend to worship me, but their worship is nothing more than the empty traditions of men.”
In Exodus 20:12, the Hebrew word for “honor” in honoring your mother and father is “kabad”, which is the same word used in reference to the weightier presence and glory of God. Honoring parents is the same reverence we give to God when His glory comes. It is to make something or someone glorious! *Honor your mother and father is the first commandment with a promise attached to it, which in turn becomes a prophetic word. Also, according to Matthew 19:16-19, Jesus lists the commandment of honoring your father and mother as one of the examples of commandments we are called to follow if we want to inherit eternal life! When you honor your parents, you receive an inheritance from your heavenly Father of eternal life!
In Matthew 15:4, when Jesus quoted to “Honor your father and mother”, the Greek word for “honor” is “doxa”, which means “to prize, revere, or make a valuation.” It is such a reverence that you prize that individual, knowing and valuing who they are! “Doxa” can also mean to “praise and worship”. Your honor to God is signified through the way you praise and worship Him, which is more than honoring with your lips, but also your lifestyle!
Having said that, we are called to honor God, honor each other and honor ourselves. We will honor God when we honor those in positions of authority by submitting to them. How do you honor someone who appears unworthy of it? The first thing you must do is see that the the position over you is ordained by God, and although the man or woman may not be in perfect alignment with the will of God, you treat those in that position the very same way as if God Himself is in that position over you. Secondly, if the only parents you knew were vacant or abusive, then respect and honor those who have taken that role in your life. It may be an aunt or uncle, a set of grandparents, a friend’s parent, or even a pastor, but honor them, knowing and understanding how much they really love and care about you as you are thankful that God had seen fit to put them in your life when you needed it the most.
It may be difficult to honor someone who is in a position of authority when they are very egotistical and disrespectful, but due to their position, when you honor them, you honor God, and one of the greatest ways to serve the love of God into their hearts is by serving them. Some people may be in a position of authority because of their connection with someone, such as a family relationship, they have been part of that organization for a long period of time, or due to a certain gift, talent or charisma, but regardless of the reason, honor them. You may have felt like you should have been promoted to a position because you felt entitled to it, then it is important to humble yourself and check why you were not promoted. When you follow Christ, you will always exchange the title for the towel. If you are in one of those such positions because you are gifted in a certain area, it is tempting to rely more on your gift or calling than the Holy Spirit, but never allow your gift or position to overrule the Holy Spirit in how you lead!
If you are in a position of leadership, and you want to be honored and respected, do not abuse the title you have, but honor and respect others. Let them see you serve, and never use your authority to talk down or mistreat people. This is an upside down kingdom! The greatest is the least, and your best leader serves the most.
Also, disciplining out of anger results in division. Give yourself time to cool off so that you do not say or do things you yourself will later regret. You can never force honor and respect down someone’s throat. You cannot make someone respect you. If you have paid the price of honor, then honor is something that has to be learned in the heart of humility.