If a loved one passes away and goes to eternity to be with the LORD, your bitterness can prevent you from reuniting with them ever again! You cannot leave this life with bitterness. When John the Baptist, the man who claimed Jesus was the Lamb of God, was in prison struggling with bitterness, Jesus said, “Blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me” (Matthew 11:6). As Jesus was dying on the cross, He said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). You cannot leave this life in bitterness and expect to spend eternity in the presence of the LORD! We must allow His grace to heal us.

Bitterness with God can be rooted in not having a father. Since God is our heavenly Father, it is naturally translated in equivalence to our earthly father. If our natural father was abusive or abandoned us, then we will view Him the same way! Those people are not a father, but God is a true Father whose love drives out all fear! He gives you a new identity.

2 Corinthians 5:18-21 (NASB) says, “18Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, 19namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation. 20Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”

2) Other People – They have done something that we take offense too. It can be something that they said or didn’t say. It could be something that they did or we thought they did, but without discussing it we do not know the true intentions. We cannot live on eggshells and be offended over every little thing. This ultimately proves we do not have confidence in who we are in Christ. If something happens, it is o.k. to go to that person to get clarity so you can be healed, but you have an offense with like 30 people, more than likely it is not on the 30 people. That is when you have to check yourself!

When you forgive someone, you release them from guilt, but when you ask someone for forgiveness, God’s grace releases you. When you approach someone to mend the relationship, you do not go and say, “Well, you did this and this to offend me.” This is not apologizing. You search your own faults because a relationship is a two-way street. Even if it is simply saying, “I have had a grudge in my heart towards you, and I want you to forgive me.” That takes courage!

Our offenses can be the result of creating a storm in our minds, allowing one lie of the enemy to creep in and separate a positive friendship. These lies can be exposed through the proper approach in communication. Otherwise, you can misinterpret someone else’s actions and words to the point that you take it personally! Also, don’t pick at wounds God has already healed. If you are picking at them, it proves you have not forgiven or reconciled.

3) Yourself – Bitterness can form an anger inside of you. You are mad at yourself for the mistakes you have made. You have held a standard over your life you couldn’t meet, and now you feel worthless. Never put a higher standard on yourself than what God puts on you. That is idolatry! When you enforce that standard on other people, it is religion! You struggle inside because of all of the mistakes you have made, and you have never been able to forgive yourself for it. But today is a new day! You cannot live in the mistakes of your past. This is what makes the sufferings of Christ so significant. He was bruised for our faults so we can be presented as blameless before Him. When you begin to recognize how much God really loves you, His love tears down those walls of bitterness that kept you introverted and away from people, enabling you to comprehend what your identity is in God. You are a son! You are a daughter! If God is willing to forgive you, how come you cannot forgive yourself?