The Need for Reconciliation!

Matthew 5:23-24 (NASB) says, “23“Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.” 

How much division can we avoid and how many relationships can we save if we learn how to search and find where we messed up? Regardless of how much you feel it is someone else’s fault you reveal your immaturity when you cannot humble yourself enough to find and admit your own fault. It may be 90% their fault and 10% yours, but you still have the 10% to make right. They may not apologize for anything, but you have eliminated the opportunity for your good to be evil spoken of, and you defended your integrity and character by guarding it in humility! Kris Vallotton said, “The reason we are to leave our gift at the altar and go make things right with our brother is because God values relationship more than He does worship.” Here are some examples of reconciliation in scripture:  

  1. Jacob and Esau

Genesis 33:1-4 says, “1Then Jacob lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids. 2He put the maids and their children in front, and Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last. 3But he himself passed on ahead of them and bowed down to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother. 4Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.”

  • Esau was betrayed by Jacob twice, once for selling his birthright for a pottage of stew and the second with Isaac pronouncing the blessing on Jacob rather than Esau, even though Esau was the oldest. This formed a wedge of bitterness that lasted for what is believed to be twenty years (Genesis 31:41). 
  • In Genesis 32, Jacob had wrestled with the angel of the LORD to the breaking of the day. It effected him in such a powerful way that he would walk with a limp for the rest of his life. He would now with a name change, from “Jacob” meaning “thief” to “Israel” meaning “prince of God”. The purpose of this identity change was not just to break those old labels off of his life, but also to prepare his heart for reconciliation with Esau in Genesis 33. 
  • Jacob was intimidated to hold a conversation with his brother, someone he hadn’t spoken with in years, but a conversation exposes the lies of the enemy. We are too afraid to have a conversation because not only is our spirituality so fragile that we do not want to acknowledge our failures, but we also do not bear the confidence of who we are in Christ insomuch that our only initiative is to tear someone else down to build ourselves up. This is not how the kingdom of God works! God is all about reconciliation, not division!
  • It is time we return to the table and have a conversation. Going back to the table allows us to have an open and honest conversation! *God wants to prepare a table in the presence of our enemies (Psalm 23).

2) Joseph and his brothers

Genesis 50:15-21 says, “15When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph bears a grudge against us and pays us back in full for all the wrong which we did to him!” 16So they sent a message to Joseph, saying, “Your father charged before he died, saying, 17‘Thus you shall say to Joseph, “Please forgive, I beg you, the transgression of your brothers and their sin, for they did you wrong.”’ And now, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.” And Joseph wept when they spoke to him. 18Then his brothers also came and fell down before him and said, “Behold, we are your servants.” 19But Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in God’s place? 20“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. 21“So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.”

  • You have to realize that all things work together for those who love God according to His purpose. Joseph being betrayed by his brothers, thrown into the bottom of a pit, stripped of his dignity, sold into slavery, falsely accused of a crime he did not commit, and thrown into prison was extremely rough, but love would cause him to do it all over again to save his family and a nations during a time of famine! Your suffering does not determine the favor of God upon your life! 
  • You take a risk of faith in building trust by maintaining the confidence of who you are in Christ. When you are secure in your identity, you refuse to allow your good to be evil spoken of. You do everything in your power to guard your integrity by seasoning it with the joy of the LORD and supernatural love! 

3) Job and his friends

Job 42:7-10 says, “7It came about after the LORD had spoken these words to Job, that the LORD said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “My wrath is kindled against you and against your two friends, because you have not spoken of Me what is right as My servant Job has. 8“Now therefore, take for yourselves seven bulls and seven rams, and go to My servant Job, and offer up a burnt offering for yourselves, and My servant Job will pray for you. For I will accept him so that I may not do with you according to your folly, because you have not spoken of Me what is right, as My servant Job has.” 9So Eliphaz the Temanite and Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite went and did as the LORD told them; and the LORD accepted Job. 10The LORD restored the fortunes of Job when he prayed for his friends, and the LORD increased all that Job had twofold.”

  • The healing of a wounded trust is to release forgiveness. You cannot hold every other relationship hostage due to a past failed relationship.