How to Deal With Difficult People, Pt. 2

James 1:19-21 says, “19Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: 20For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. 21Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.”

If you were to brainstorm of different personalities that simply “get under your skin”, several may come to mind. However, I would like to bring to the light five different personalities that can be difficult to handle, but you will learn not only how to deal with them, but also to inspect yourself to make sure you do not develop these type of characteristics:

1) The Know-It All’s – “I told you so”, The Pharisees, those who always have an answer for everything, making excuses for every mistake. Do not engage in an argument because you will never win. Always stay humble in being willing and able to learn, knowing that you do not have all of the answers.
2) The Mouthy Ones – the gossip queens, those who always “mouth off” and “talk back” to anyone who is in authority. Do not hang with these people because they set a bad example. They can easily influence you to become rebellious and engage in unhealthy conversations that are detrimental to your spirit. Instead of walking in faith, you will be filled with negativity, and, before you know it, you will become miserable. You will be labeled as a “gossip”, which is the worst label you could ever wear. Criticizing without providing a solution does absolutely no good. It only causes chaos, bitterness, division and disorder.
3) The Loners – those who appear unreachable and keep to themselves. Show them the love of God as much as you can. Step outside of your shell to make yourself as available to them because you may not know exactly what they are going through, and by spending more time with them, they may open up to you or at least know someone cares about them.

4) The Social Media Freaks – those who post their life story on the Internet for the world to see, hoping to gain attention. Do not stalk their life story. Do not be drawn into and entertained by their drama. Stop following these people because you waste so much valuable and precious time that you cannot get back.

5) The Needy Type – always have to have a relationship in order to fill loved and secure, always wanting something as though never satisfied. Recognize when you become this person. Let the love of the Father fill every need in your life instead of depending on having sex to feel loved. When you come in contact with people like this, minister to them the love and grace of God, but do not let these people become leeches, sucking the very life out of you because they will. If you constantly usurp all of your energy upon people who refuse to change, you are getting nowhere and are only wasting your time. When they sincerely want to change, then they will listen and prove it through their repentance! Give yourself space because if you continue to pour yourself out and you are never being filled with the Word and presence of God, you will always fill emptied and drained!

In encountering these personalities, if you feel inferior and change who you are to accommodate someone else’s personality, you are giving them control over you. By getting to know people, you begin to realize why people are the way they are. So, instead of coming up with some pre-judgment, communicate effectively and be the conduit of God’s love. On the flip side, if there appears nothing you can do to appear to be at peace with someone, sometimes your best solution is to avoid people. Other times, it is engaging in healthy conversations so you can discover why they are the way they are and how to bring them to Jesus. Your aggravation with them could very well be your expectancy of them fulfilling a specific need in your life that only God can fill. Always remember, live at peace with all men “if possible” (Romans 12:18). This is not a cop out to ignore or mistreat people, but it lets you know some people are simply just difficult!